Time marches on...

I was talking to my dad on the phone the other night as he was leaving Texas and headed for Louisana (he's a truck driver) and we got on the subject of age. He was telling me how he'd be 62 years old in 10 years and it was amazing how time flies. Just to bring a little more reality to the conversation I interjected that he'll have a 37 (almost 38) year old daughter in 10 years as well. We both laughed but I think we both were thinking about the last 10 years...I was 17 and he was 42...and where the time has gone. It's not time you can get back or time you can alter in any way. There aren't many relationships in my life that I'd like to mend or invest more time in but the one with my dad is something I'd like to hit the "rewind" button on. I don't feel like we really know who the other one is. We somewhat understand each other or is it that we just assume the unspoken? It is easier to pretend that we know each other rather than peel back the layers and expose what is underneath. Have I buried the hurt and chosen to remember the good things from our past? Do I really want to understand the man that I call "Dad"? These, among other questions are the things that run through my head while I'm driving in the car or trying to fall asleep at night. Then I don't completely understand everything that I do and why. Does my Dad even know exactly who he is and why he's made the decisions in his life? Would it be worth knowing answers to questions that I can't bring myself to ask and could I live with the answers? Is it easier just to not know? Probably. Either way...the next 10 years will go fast and I'll be looking back wondering where the last 10 years have gone. Because after all....time marches on.